Yes, it's been over six months since I last bothered to post.
It's not that I haven't thought about it, I just haven't done it.
My weight remains steady between 200 and 210, I can't seem to get the exercise and the eating to be together. Either I'm eating too much or not exercising enough.
My red letter day was 15 April 2008, when, at the age of 47 I actually ran 1 mile, yes 1 mile. You would have thought I'd won a gold medal. I was proud of myself beyond belief. I have also been struggling with being in an exercise 'funk' since then. I don't quite know what it up with that.
I can work out for 3 or 4 days and then stop, abruptly, for no good reason. I've become addicted to overtime and being pretty damn lazy I guess. There was a two or three week period earlier this summer when I didn't go to the gym at all.
That seems to be changing as I made it four times last week and three times so far this week if I can just keep it up.
My food seems to have cleaned up a bit. I am aware I am a food addict and that seems to help tremendously.
I take the first three steps every morning and remember above all I am NOT eating to sooth my nerves, to feel better or for the taste. I am eating to sustain my life, period.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Aboard the Norwegian Dawn
Today is the first time I've been able to post since we left port on Sunday. The internet connection leaves a lot to be desired, not to mention cost. 250 minutes is $100 which is the best deal available.
The ship is great, our stateroom is small but they sure design them well. We have all of our things stowed away and still have some room to move around.
Monday, our day at sea, was an expensive one. Suzie and I each had massages at $200 a piece and I spent another $200 on acupuncture. I felt I had no choice, the non-stop eating was really getting to me.
There is a buffet called The Garden Court which is all you can eat all the time and boy can people eat. I ate their once for breakfast, it was college dorm food and again for lunch yesterday upon our return from Samana Dominican Republic. How people can eat that crap is beyond me. It is just that, crap!! Calling it "college dorm food" is probably a compliment. The hamburger I had for lunch yesterday was passable and they always have some fruit available. Mostly I see people eating crap, pizza, fries, pasta, ice cream, cake, cookies, pies, crap with a capital "C".
Samana Dominican Republic was no big deal, disappointing actually. We failed to book an excursion and were left to our own devices. Mike and Sandy negotiated with a cab driver to take us on a small island tour and he did so. What we saw of the island didn't impress me. The beach we saw was very nice, but no time for shopping really.
Today was St. Thomas and I went to visit my beloved Reef. Saw Joyce, Leanne and Ann. It looks the same. We had a nice visit, I saw Norma's memorial wedding gazebo. She surely is missed. Leanne looks well, her daughter is a sweet looking little girl growing up fast.
Tomorrow is Tortola and our excursion to the Baths. Sandy and Mike are concerned they may not be able to keep up. Mike needs to get rid of those damn crocs he wears. They are about 2 sizes too big and he shuffles in them which makes me worry he may fall. Also, his knee limits his getting about. Now he's talking about surgery before their trips later in the year. Let's hope he goes through with it.
I've tried not to overeat and to get exercise. Today I walked 4 times around the promenade deck before dinner and am thinking of doing the same thing tonight. We shall see as it's after 10:00PM and we have an early wake-up tomorrow for our excursion.
One day at sea on Friday, Great Stirrup Cay on Saturday, back to port in Miami on Sunday and home on Monday.
Time certainly flies when you're having fun!!
The ship is great, our stateroom is small but they sure design them well. We have all of our things stowed away and still have some room to move around.
Monday, our day at sea, was an expensive one. Suzie and I each had massages at $200 a piece and I spent another $200 on acupuncture. I felt I had no choice, the non-stop eating was really getting to me.
There is a buffet called The Garden Court which is all you can eat all the time and boy can people eat. I ate their once for breakfast, it was college dorm food and again for lunch yesterday upon our return from Samana Dominican Republic. How people can eat that crap is beyond me. It is just that, crap!! Calling it "college dorm food" is probably a compliment. The hamburger I had for lunch yesterday was passable and they always have some fruit available. Mostly I see people eating crap, pizza, fries, pasta, ice cream, cake, cookies, pies, crap with a capital "C".
Samana Dominican Republic was no big deal, disappointing actually. We failed to book an excursion and were left to our own devices. Mike and Sandy negotiated with a cab driver to take us on a small island tour and he did so. What we saw of the island didn't impress me. The beach we saw was very nice, but no time for shopping really.
Today was St. Thomas and I went to visit my beloved Reef. Saw Joyce, Leanne and Ann. It looks the same. We had a nice visit, I saw Norma's memorial wedding gazebo. She surely is missed. Leanne looks well, her daughter is a sweet looking little girl growing up fast.
Tomorrow is Tortola and our excursion to the Baths. Sandy and Mike are concerned they may not be able to keep up. Mike needs to get rid of those damn crocs he wears. They are about 2 sizes too big and he shuffles in them which makes me worry he may fall. Also, his knee limits his getting about. Now he's talking about surgery before their trips later in the year. Let's hope he goes through with it.
I've tried not to overeat and to get exercise. Today I walked 4 times around the promenade deck before dinner and am thinking of doing the same thing tonight. We shall see as it's after 10:00PM and we have an early wake-up tomorrow for our excursion.
One day at sea on Friday, Great Stirrup Cay on Saturday, back to port in Miami on Sunday and home on Monday.
Time certainly flies when you're having fun!!
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Bon Voyage
Today is the day we board the Norwegian Dawn for our 7 day Caribbean cruise. I'm so exicted I can barely sleep.
I don't know if I'll update before our return to Miami as internet access is .75 per minute on board. Might be a bit too rich for my blood.
The last two days have been fun. On Friday we took a 'duck' tour of Miami. It's in a military surplus vehicle called a 'duck' because it rolls on wheels on land and floats on water. It was a 90 minute tour that hits many of Miami's hot spots such as South Beach Ocean Drive, the Art Deco district and Star Island among others.
We saw Rosie O'Donnell's home, she's here in Miami now for Christmas. Also saw the Versaci mansion, lots of fun and funky restaurants on South Beach.
Yesterday Mike and Sandy hired a driver for us and we took a 'sedan tour' of Miami. Gus, our driver immigrated 47 years ago from Cuba. He was great, we saw a lot of beautiful homes in Coral Gables, we sent shopping for a Guyebarra shirt for Mike and had a wonderful Cuban lunch at the very authentic Versailles Restaurant in Little Havana. The food was GREAT, Suzie and I shared a midnight sandwich and a cuban sandwich. I also had an authentic Mojito and Cafe con Leche.
Last evening was very low key. We ate in the hotel and had an early night. We are all packed up now and just waiting to go over to the port and board.
I'd prefer to be working out now but my workout clothes won't dry before they have to be re-packed so I'm going to forgo my workout this morning.
I've tried to be very careful with what I'm eating although I have been craving chocolate. Yesterday I had a hershey bar and two bags of M & M's.
I need to look at what could be aggravating my sweet tooth.
Bon Voyage until perhaps January 13th!!
I don't know if I'll update before our return to Miami as internet access is .75 per minute on board. Might be a bit too rich for my blood.
The last two days have been fun. On Friday we took a 'duck' tour of Miami. It's in a military surplus vehicle called a 'duck' because it rolls on wheels on land and floats on water. It was a 90 minute tour that hits many of Miami's hot spots such as South Beach Ocean Drive, the Art Deco district and Star Island among others.
We saw Rosie O'Donnell's home, she's here in Miami now for Christmas. Also saw the Versaci mansion, lots of fun and funky restaurants on South Beach.
Yesterday Mike and Sandy hired a driver for us and we took a 'sedan tour' of Miami. Gus, our driver immigrated 47 years ago from Cuba. He was great, we saw a lot of beautiful homes in Coral Gables, we sent shopping for a Guyebarra shirt for Mike and had a wonderful Cuban lunch at the very authentic Versailles Restaurant in Little Havana. The food was GREAT, Suzie and I shared a midnight sandwich and a cuban sandwich. I also had an authentic Mojito and Cafe con Leche.
Last evening was very low key. We ate in the hotel and had an early night. We are all packed up now and just waiting to go over to the port and board.
I'd prefer to be working out now but my workout clothes won't dry before they have to be re-packed so I'm going to forgo my workout this morning.
I've tried to be very careful with what I'm eating although I have been craving chocolate. Yesterday I had a hershey bar and two bags of M & M's.
I need to look at what could be aggravating my sweet tooth.
Bon Voyage until perhaps January 13th!!
Friday, January 4, 2008
Miami
We arrived safely in Miami yesterday. All of our flights were EARLY if you can believe that, not one single weather delay. Our longest wait was on the tarmac at O'Hare waiting for the gate to be readied for our arrival. We have just enough time between flights to make a quick stop at the rest room and a quick phone call to Mom.
Miami was cold and rainy yesterday. It's funny to see people in south Florida wearing North Face parkas, especially when it's only in the high 40's. Hell, in Nebraska in January the high 40's is considered our January warm-up.
The hotel is decent, but the neighborhood a bit sketchy. Yesterday Suzie and I walked to the Bayside Market and ate at the Hard Rock Cafe. We split a $20 hamburger which I supplemented with a side salad. The food was OK, personally I'd have preferred something else but Suzie needed a sit-down meal. Picked up a t-shirt for Cody, $30, don't think we'll be bringing him home a lot of things.
Met Mike and Sandy shortly after their arrival and had a decent dinner in the hotel. Mike has certainly changed his addiction from alcohol to food. We had two appetizers for four people which is a bit much in my opinion. I did eat some so I guess I shouldn't complain.
It was good to see Mike and Sandy, and I know how much Suzie values spending time with her Mom. I'm glad that they get along so well and am a bit jealous of their relationship. How I wish Marie and I could be like those two.
I tried to get in a bit of a workout yesterday. I walked for two miles on the decrepit old treadmill I found in the exercise room here in the hotel. I was afraid to run on it, it seems old and it's got a way different feel to it than what I'm used to at 24 Hour Fitness. I don't believe that it was as good a workout as I need but it's better than nothing.
I tried to be careful with what I ate yesterday and since I'm not wearing my Body Bugg I'm going to log here what I'm eating. It will help keep me honest.
Breakfast was an Apex Brownie Bar
Lunch at the Hard Rock Cafe was 1/2 of a bacon cheddar cheeseburger and I supplemented my meal with a dinner salad with Ranch.
Dinner was Teriyaki Salmon with mixed seasonal vegetables and a baked potato with sour cream. I also had some spinach and artichoke dip with chips and some mozzarella cheese and tomatos with pesto sauce.
My guilty pleasure of the day yesterday was a Hershey's Special Dark Chocolate Bar and a Cape Codder.
Breakfast today was the buffet. I had honeydew, canteloupe, pineapple, cottage cheese, 2 link sausage and a bagel with peanut butter.
I walked 2 miles on the same decrepit treadmill this morning and plan to do the same tonight.
Today is a "Ducks Tour" to South Beach, Key Biscayne and the art deco district along with some walking (I hope).
Here's to being careful with my remaining meals today.
Miami was cold and rainy yesterday. It's funny to see people in south Florida wearing North Face parkas, especially when it's only in the high 40's. Hell, in Nebraska in January the high 40's is considered our January warm-up.
The hotel is decent, but the neighborhood a bit sketchy. Yesterday Suzie and I walked to the Bayside Market and ate at the Hard Rock Cafe. We split a $20 hamburger which I supplemented with a side salad. The food was OK, personally I'd have preferred something else but Suzie needed a sit-down meal. Picked up a t-shirt for Cody, $30, don't think we'll be bringing him home a lot of things.
Met Mike and Sandy shortly after their arrival and had a decent dinner in the hotel. Mike has certainly changed his addiction from alcohol to food. We had two appetizers for four people which is a bit much in my opinion. I did eat some so I guess I shouldn't complain.
It was good to see Mike and Sandy, and I know how much Suzie values spending time with her Mom. I'm glad that they get along so well and am a bit jealous of their relationship. How I wish Marie and I could be like those two.
I tried to get in a bit of a workout yesterday. I walked for two miles on the decrepit old treadmill I found in the exercise room here in the hotel. I was afraid to run on it, it seems old and it's got a way different feel to it than what I'm used to at 24 Hour Fitness. I don't believe that it was as good a workout as I need but it's better than nothing.
I tried to be careful with what I ate yesterday and since I'm not wearing my Body Bugg I'm going to log here what I'm eating. It will help keep me honest.
Breakfast was an Apex Brownie Bar
Lunch at the Hard Rock Cafe was 1/2 of a bacon cheddar cheeseburger and I supplemented my meal with a dinner salad with Ranch.
Dinner was Teriyaki Salmon with mixed seasonal vegetables and a baked potato with sour cream. I also had some spinach and artichoke dip with chips and some mozzarella cheese and tomatos with pesto sauce.
My guilty pleasure of the day yesterday was a Hershey's Special Dark Chocolate Bar and a Cape Codder.
Breakfast today was the buffet. I had honeydew, canteloupe, pineapple, cottage cheese, 2 link sausage and a bagel with peanut butter.
I walked 2 miles on the same decrepit treadmill this morning and plan to do the same tonight.
Today is a "Ducks Tour" to South Beach, Key Biscayne and the art deco district along with some walking (I hope).
Here's to being careful with my remaining meals today.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
An exhausting day
My Mother wore me out yesterday.
She was having pain in her arm and wanted to go to the ER so we went. She was worried that the pain was cardiac-related. It was not cardiac-related, it was a strain or pulled muscle, the ER doc wasn't sure.
It was the worst possible time. I had planned to go the gym yesterday, get a brow and upper lip waxing, buy a new compact flash card for my digital camera, get some housework done and generally relax before leaving today.
No such luck. I swear, it's a control thing for her. She's not comfortable with me leaving town so she had to mess with my day. I was tied up with her from 10:30 until 3:00 making sure she was OK. Made a special trip to pick up the script ER doc gave her for Vicodin and then she said 'Ernie and Jean (her bro and my sis) told me I shouldn't take it.' When I heard that, I was SEETHING with anger. I made a special trip to drop off and pick up her script and she won't take it??? How DARE she???
I was so angry and hurt it was unbelieveable. I feel guilty for feeling angry and hurt. I dont' know how people who have young kids and aging parents do it. They are saints, truly saints.
I don't know why I'm up, it's 2:45 and I have to be up in an hour. The airport shuttle is picking us up at 4:45 for a 7:00AM flight to Chicago.
I just want to be gone for a while. Unavailable by phone or email for just a couple of days.
Oh, wait, I will be at sea all day on Monday 7 January and again Frday 11 January. No cell phone service and email only if I choose to pay.
I am going to try to catch some more shut eye before I have to be up.
She was having pain in her arm and wanted to go to the ER so we went. She was worried that the pain was cardiac-related. It was not cardiac-related, it was a strain or pulled muscle, the ER doc wasn't sure.
It was the worst possible time. I had planned to go the gym yesterday, get a brow and upper lip waxing, buy a new compact flash card for my digital camera, get some housework done and generally relax before leaving today.
No such luck. I swear, it's a control thing for her. She's not comfortable with me leaving town so she had to mess with my day. I was tied up with her from 10:30 until 3:00 making sure she was OK. Made a special trip to pick up the script ER doc gave her for Vicodin and then she said 'Ernie and Jean (her bro and my sis) told me I shouldn't take it.' When I heard that, I was SEETHING with anger. I made a special trip to drop off and pick up her script and she won't take it??? How DARE she???
I was so angry and hurt it was unbelieveable. I feel guilty for feeling angry and hurt. I dont' know how people who have young kids and aging parents do it. They are saints, truly saints.
I don't know why I'm up, it's 2:45 and I have to be up in an hour. The airport shuttle is picking us up at 4:45 for a 7:00AM flight to Chicago.
I just want to be gone for a while. Unavailable by phone or email for just a couple of days.
Oh, wait, I will be at sea all day on Monday 7 January and again Frday 11 January. No cell phone service and email only if I choose to pay.
I am going to try to catch some more shut eye before I have to be up.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
First Day of the Year
A new day, a new year and I'm not making any resolutions.
I went to an OA meeting tonight, it was right where I needed to be. Food has been calling to me lately, things I don't normally eat like cookies, chocolate and deep fat fried ANYTHING.
I lost 100 pounds once. Yes, once and managed to regain every single pound plus more. Just like the Big Book says 'we get worse, never better.' I got progressively worse without meetings and relapse is hard to get out of. There are still times when I feel like I'm in the throes of relapse.
Getting ready for the cruise is hard. I hate packing, I hate deciding what to take and looking for things.
I hope Mom does OK while I'm gone. My sister Jean is here to look after her, but I think she doesn't always tell Jean the things she tells me. I'm the older one, I guess I'm supposed to be stronger as well.
I'm so excited to be seeing Leanne again, 10 years later, almost to the day. We had so much fun and so many laughs. Many good memories to share.
I hope I can find a way to update my blog from the boat, that would be SO cool.
A friend gave me a journal to write in every day to keep my memories in.
Only 2 more sleeps until we leave for Miami.
I want a Cuban sandwich and a mojito.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
The Beginning
Here it is, the beginning.
I've tried blogging before but wasn't always successful. I'd give it up after a few days, don't know why. Just didn't follow through.
This time I plan for things to be different. My goal is to update this daily. What I say doesn't have to be profound or smart, just to day something.
So, what will I say today? Well, I guess I should start with who I am.
I'm a 47 year old woman born in Omaha Nebraska on December 23, 1960. I am the first child born to my parents after 8 years of marriage.
I went to Catholic school for 12 years, both grade school and high school.
I went to college for 1 semester to study social work. I realized college wasn't my thing, got a full time job and never looked back. Interestingly enough I still have that same job today, 26 years later.
Growing up I always knew I was different from the other girls. Wasn't the 'frilly' type, didn't really care about playing with dolls or 'girly' things.
Teen years were awful, poor social skills, overweight in my teens which developed into chronic morbid obesity by the time I was in my early 20's.
Got sick and tired of being sick and tired. Joined OA in the late '80's. Lost 100 pounds, quit going to meetings, gained it all back AND more. A reminder that the disease of compulsive overeating gets worse, never better.
Got back into the program and am struggling to get to a decent weight. Started working out about a year ago and lost approximately 40 pounds since 12/29/2006. Would've lost more but I'm a slow learner when it comes to the 'eating' part of weight loss.
Always working on emotional and spiritual recovery. A firm believer in the 12 step program of recovery for addictions of all type.
Biggest Loser Fan
Lesbian in a committed relationship of 6 years with the love of my life.
Lost my father in 2000, a colo-rectal and liver cancer statistic. Miss him every single day.
Helping my mother with activities of daily living after her diagnosis of Pulmonary Fibrosis in July 2007. Trying not to lose my mind while doing it.
Faithful and loyal employee.
Wonderful friend.
Football fan, both college and pro.
Love to travel, taking my *FIRST* cruise to the Caribbean (Dominican Republic, Tortola and St. Thomas) on 1/6/2008. Can't wait.
Goal for the cruise is NO WEIGHT GAIN.
Big (no pun intended) fan of Jillian Michaels of The Biggest Loser.
Trying to learn to live a healthy life incorporating healthy eating and daily exercise.
Lived in St. Thomas in '98, Aruba in 99, and Hawaii in '01 and '02.
Would love to live in Hawaii full-time, love Hawaiian music and culture.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)